Thursday, November 8, 2012

Taking a Shot

Angst and handwringing.  That's just about all the activity that's been going on over here at this blog.  Angst and handwringing. 

Not about important stuff mind you.  No, it's all about the blog.  Why can't I write?  Why can't I get my head back in the game?  Why...well, just WHY?  

The plain and simple truth is I don't know why.  I want to write.  I want to post twice a day and three times on Sunday.  I want to scan cards, post trades and mail out packages three times a week.  I really do.  I just can't seem to get back in the blogging groove.  I've had a grand total of 12 posts in the last 7+ weeks and without looking, I'd say 11 of them barely qualify as posts. 

Back in mid-September, I sort of had a mini-breakdown.  I thought my marriage was falling apart.  I imagined my wife was seeing someone else.  For a 5 day period, my life was turned upside down.  During that 5 days, I slept a grand total of 6 hours.  I was having nightmares.  The thing is, it was all in MY head.  My wife only knew I wasn't sleeping.  She didn't know why.  She didn't think our marriage was falling apart.  She was never seeing someone else and there was no reason for me to think she was.  I just fell apart. 

The week after that one was better, but I was trying to recover from whatever it was that happened to me.  I finally told my wife what had been plaguing me the previous week and she was stunned.  The good thing was it got us talking.  A lot of talking.  I realized that I had been neglecting our marriage.  She never accused me of that or said it outright, but it slowly dawned on me that I hadn't been doing any of the things that a husband should do for his wife.  I heard her, but I wasn't really listening to her.  I didn't do random little things to let her know how important she was to me.  I was absent from our marriage without realizing it.  If you know my story, you know my wife stuck by me when I hid about 20K in credit card debt from her.  She's committed to me and had resigned herself to a marriage in which she wasn't getting the attention she deserved. 

I think God let that bad week happen to snap me out of whatever years long funk I was in and I'm so thankful He did.  It took a couple of weeks to get back on track, but the last 5 weeks have been the best weeks since we first got married.  My wife, my marriage, my kids...they are my priorities now.  I have two great sons and for the first time, they are seeing how a man should treat his wife. 

I didn't start this post intending to go into all that private (not anymore) stuff, but it feels therapeutic to actually write it.  The good news is I think I'm ready to take another shot at kick starting the blog again.  I have a number of trade packages that are ready to be scanned, which is sort of how I got started in the first place.  I want to start off with a nice little package from Ray over at Shot Not Taken

You can never go wrong if you include a Senators card in a trade package for me. 

Carlton Fisk is one of the guys I collect, but this card may make me rethink that. 

This is the card I wanted.  If Goodwin Champions has one redeeming quality, it's the Military Machines cards.  It's not a priority, but I'd like to put this small set together.

I'll be taking a three day weekend so I won't have any more posts this week.  I'm hoping to be back to more regular posting AND commenting on Monday.  Thanks for all your support.  It means more than you know.


  1. It is funny how much time writing a simple blog can take up. But, I am glad things are looking up for you. Enjoy your three day break and I look forward to continue reading this blog even if you can only do a post or two a week.

  2. I'm glad to hear things are turning around for you. Your blog is one of my favorites out there, but I'd much rather hear that you're doing better, than read your blog.

    It's amazing how a good "sit down & talk" can refresh a marriage, a relationship, and even friendships. I've put my blog & reading other people's blogs ahead of my family and friends before... but I've mellowed out in recent months and have found a good balance.

    I look forward to seeing you jump back into the game... and if you decide to slow down and take a break, the fact is you have loyal followers who will read whatever you're able to publish.

  3. Awesome. Great for you and thanks for sharing.

  4. Wow. Sorry to hear about the psychological phunk. Glad to hear things are working out OK.

    As far as the blogging goes I can relate to the wanting to blog everyday and twice on Sundays, but failing to do so. For me I prefer to have quality posts over quantity. That restricts my blogging also just plain laziness sometimes and procrastination do me in (and the occasional just plain tired evening. One of my personal blogging goals is to have at least one post every month, well in September I failed that for 2 of 3 of my blogs (One of them I posted late Sept 30 and I thought I was going to make it with the way blogger sometimes will make the posting time the time you first saved the post but the official time for the post was just after midnight on the first so the post clocked in for October instead of September). My official excuse is that the Nationals were in the Playoffs and it didn't allow for the time to post.

  5. Ah you found the secret:

    Marriage, like everything else in this life, is WORK.

    Looking forward to next week.

  6. Good to see you have your priorities in order again and enjoying the family, that's the most important thing in life !! The card and blog momentum will come back and we will continue to read it whenever it comes ! Take care !

  7. That must have been hard to share but congrats on turning things around!

  8. Good to see a post from you this evening! Also glad to hear you are enjoying the important things. I've been in the ebbs and flows too so I'm there for you if you ever want to chat.

  9. I'm really glad to hear that things are turning around for you. It can't be an easy situation, but at least the communication lines are open. I don't think anyone would ever fault you for not posting if it meant taking care of family. I'd be lying if I said a large reason for my blog absence wasn't the wife. Who knew she'd want to spend more time together after marriage? Not that that's a bad thing.

    Still, I'm glad you're getting your metaphorical cards in order before you get your physical cards in order.

  10. I really enjoy reading your blog. Even though I don't know you, I was hoping everything was okay. Glad to hear that it is. Post when you can, we'll be here.

  11. Sometimes you have to write that really hard story before you can get to anything else. This post will help you get there, man.

  12. Wow. Takes a man to own up to stuff like that. Be praying for you.

  13. Hey man, glad to ear everything is getting back to normal for you! Your blog has always been a must read for me, no matter what the post was about.